spark: exercise

exercise for life...it is the cure for everything...immune, disease, bones, mentality, pregnancy...everything, motivation
stationary bike, elliptical

Martin Heidegger - steiner

finished the steiner book...it was pretty good...about the human experience with realization of object and subject...the first part was riddled with the permutation of being with being and being in time or being with time or being with being with time or cognizant of being with being in time...the 2nd part got better...about what makes us real and the humanity in essence and what makes a soul and how to we express things that are not very describable with words...etymology of being and "it is" in literal connotation...how do we understand the soul of music if music just just notes played from a page? why does this building exist regardless if we are knowledgeable of it's existence? mind, body, soul, object-subject-action,...all that...good stuff...i felt like a read a rendition of this before...nothing too mind boggling or unfamiliar...platonic, cartesian, derivatives of older fields of thought and philosophy....kant, Pythagorean, Descartes, nietzsche ...a lot of german philosophers cited...Epistemology...a lot of name dropping...overall it was ok....I read a book before about people who lived their lives outside of each other's knowledge but happened to do everything the same as if they had the same soul (einstein's spooky action at a distance with quantum entangled souls, where your actions are the same as someone else who is entangled with you without you being cognizant of his/her/their existence) and do souls get white washed and recycled to another being after death? and the haunting of unrested souls and shit like that -- that shit blew my mind...this book is pretty tame at face value about the permutations of the existence of self and self awareness of being in the physical while the mind is able to wander to another plane of existence and then back again to realize the physical....about the being of inanimate objects and what words it takes to describe feelings and emotions outside of cause-and-effect physical rigor using metaphors of the soul, etc

nietzsche - beyond good and evil

the nietzsche book was meh...i felt like a lot of the concepts were reused and repackaged in music...stuff like "i'm fucked up, my life's fucked up, and i have no idea who to turn to, etc"....a meta-cognizant exploration of what a man's character is and what his actions represent....at first, it was like nietzsche is depressed, he needs to get laid -- stop blaming women on everything...then it was like, nietzsche needs friends and have people to relate to -- he needs some fresh air from all these "living is a form of suffering" thoughts....and then nietzsche spent entire chapter 9 on the german people and how weak they become..., the juxtaposition of the jewish people not (technically) having a country but still managing to survive...and 3rd reich thoughts...blood and iron....he finished chapter 10 strong, though...decent stuff...a lot of mind experiments and no practicality with real life results like the previous modern books you recommended

i'm on chapter 3 of the martin book....sein and zeit all over the place...lol...ugh...the 3rd reich stuff is basically built on some of these philosophers misquoted....strong minds, strong quotes, wrong application to real life

yeah, at least i still know german...don't have to look up all these words up...

Yeah I'm not familiar with archetypical ways on philosophizing ideas in slightly different rhetorics...I just take things face value. The lack of application in real world circumstances on how philosophy works can mislead people while others can over-understand them... Like the 3rd Reich. Like he said, it's easy to rebuttal when you're misunderstood, but people fear when someone really understands them and dissect their words and intentions left unsaid. I'm more in the market for case studies and real life application instead of pure rhetoric that could be misapplied to the wrong intentions

Oh, I'm catching every word. I listen faster than I could read.... It's just I don't have the foundational connotations to catch every nuance to catch what previous works he made reference to or to what parts he made different and made rebuttals or patches to when deriving his conclusions from previous branches of philosophy

I'm disabling the chat box to my live sessions.... The 3rd wheel writes vague ass comments referring to stuff we said 2 minutes ago and then retracts her ideas when I ask her about it... Or simply writes that's not what she means.... This is so unprofessional.... And she doesn't write more to explain herself... And sometimes she leaves mid conversation from passive aggressive rage... Writing messages is for slack and text.... If we are on live, the point is to talk and clear the air..... Stop entering live sessions with the oh shit disheveled mentality and actually contribute ideas and progress worth a damn... 3 weeks ago, she was closing her house, 2 weeks ago was the NBA finals she didn't want to miss any of the coverage... This week is moving... It's ok to be busy but bring the intensity to scheduled meetings... Excuses are a self imposed handicap that no amount of philosophy can remove.... Solve shit by acting out your intentions and not with meta cognizant thinking of cross analyzing what do you feel at the moment ....and stop using all the energy proving to yourself the hidden self's, cognitive dissonance, and values that can't even be discovered to the untrained mind when the action can solve shit in 2 minutes... That's all I'm saying.... The choice to act courageously on one's full intentions unravels all problems from complex to simple and help bridge the gap between self corrective behavior and feedback from interfacing our environment.... Instead, people are sheep or simply fall victim to peer pressure where they seek validation in the eyes of others and paint their reality based on the ignorance or propaganda of others due to the tribal or beta male mentality and fear of being an outcast having an original thought outside of societal norms....just because of conjecture or intuitiveness doesn't mean it could carry over without fail to real life.. over simulation of the mind can drive people crazy when reality doesn't add up to what you thought it was

Redirect The Surprising New Science of Psychological Change

so, verbalizing a narrative (CISD) allows a person to relive the experience but can be biased towards the storytelling, where you are inclined to sear the bad memory in your brain and also change the narrative for the listener....writing it down has a cross analysis where you can escape the narrative and understand the event in a 3rd or 2nd point of view to understand it better...lol he said multiple regression..basically, you need to redirect the narrative so that you can find your way out that is true to the scenario and not fabricating it to yourself where enough things are justified to be solved through catharsis expression and not denied for self inhibition

imagine what life would be like had not instead of had gotten...if you are grateful of things that would be different that not have happened, it becomes special in reframing...if you are just grateful of what you have, it becomes less extraordinary and mundane

get the message about people who have been there, or optimism better in general

children, based on genes and peers...social economic group

key to self is autonomy and the ability to do things for yourself

dont do severe , just justify based on self autonomy instead of harsh consequences

compliance is for rewards, but internalization is different

rewards undermine task's enjoyability, because it becomes extrinsic, not intrinsic

plummet it below, less interested

watching cartoon programming had its pros and cons...pro that cartoons were written by class clowns and comedians and I got a really good sense of humor making jokes, con because a lot of the cliche writing was about learned helplessness over common situations like the inability to talk to girls or being nervous for public speaking or failing a class..it's just had I not seen or learned that part of their narrative, I would have not even have been overcome with fear of how these kids show plots usually turn out, like ed edd and eddy, hey arnold, etc...it's believable because you can't portray characters as too suave but having the audience relate to the character but then not having the characters develop into making a situation better makes those shows stagnant...probably because you can watch those shows in random order and it's still going to make sense on a rerun that characters dont change clothes or improve in character, but for the kids who followed their every moves, they were exposed to a phantom mindset that we should be afraid or nervous of situations and we are not given a solution to overcome those situations...and thus, the hedonistic treadmill continues

volunteer, lead by example, kids learn what we do than what we say

scared straight backfire on kids with narratives that dont even qualify for this

dont label kids, inadvertently change story prompt and reinforce bad behavior, oppress peers

check your peers

one in a million is an illusion. even though america has so many million people in the land, not all of them qualify for you to be around. being realistic: based on IQ, half the population has lower than 100, some of the remaining above 100 don't live above the poverty line. not discounting people as people, but on the line of thinking of who qualify to be your peers, the people younger or out of your age group are not your peers because most of the baby boomer people are in retirement homes or don't want to be bothered. then, of the people who are older, those are mentors if you can get one. the dwindling few people that are left are autoselected out as around 100 in a million or 10 in a million scale already, so for someone to be one in a million is easy because of the people who are left that qualify under your standards, every 10th person who you get in contact to is the person that you want to hang around, if that makes any sense, because a large majority of the population don't even qualify and the ones that do is just a numbers of scale game to get the right person to be in your circle of friends..matching thought processes and ideals and everything..not everyone qualify and probably every 10th or 20th person do, but once you meet one, it's just a numbers game to meet another based on exposure of self to more people and like-mindedness

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fucking eh, the biggest take away that i got from the 3rd book was: we are creatures of habit and after living for a while, we accumulate deeply entrenched behavioral traits of neural passageways, where our tendencies are the cause and result of paved highways in the brain made by redundant behaviors and undeveloped are the side streets of unexplored traits that we wish to accumulate. The first hand positive feedback evidence of what has kept us alive and intact for all these years are the survival/adaptability neural passageways that closely align with our tenancies. Evolution made us like this even though the physical dangers of living in this world have subsided, where it's very hard to change our actions after the accumulation of a redundant tendencies. we tend to not do anything opposite or outside of the norms of our behavioral palate even if we yearn to become someone better because of the 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' biological equilibrium...that is why people who do things physically can be hypocritical or even counter productive to what they say verbally -- what we can imply through their actions does not align to their inner voice. we are rooted to who we are by our actions so much that we resort to those same actions by default even when the circumstances change. any slight familiarity of the experience makes us reference and resort to those default actions and it's very difficult to change what we do even though we are totally cognizant that we are self-defeating ourselves as well as know about the existence of the side-street alternatives of what what we yearn to do. it's challenging to change ourselves because our behavior is rooted in the addiction based on habit...simply knowing what to do is not enough if we don't implement it by our actions....why spend calories and mental real estate/attention span to get from point A to B by using a new route to dictate a new behavior when the old route uses less energy and can result a "good enough" outcome? We may have to hold higher standards of what is tolerated as well, while using benchmarks to self-validate and not simply seek the approval of others.

We align ourselves based on our past behaviors and taste, sort of like a "forced" deja vu where we act the same way in slightly familiar or similar circumstances in order to use fewer brain cells to implement those actions such as driving a car and weeding out distractions. We relive the moment as if it happened before by redundant actions and we don't approach new circumstances creatively with new behaviors. Besides evolution, the the biggest reason is irrational fear of the unknown and the other reason is having things as routine to think less and use less willpower and energy...in order to grow as a person by actively thinking more, habitually put yourself into new circumstances where there is less familiarity in the scenario to output a new behavior more tailored to the moment instead of a canned behavior from the movies or from previous life recollections....it's very hard to do this because you go out your way to find these new situations where there is no familiarity. if we think too hard in these new scenarios, we choke or freeze as seen in players on a sports teams...the trick is to also go on gut feelings outside of the brain and take the nonverbal cues from the surroundings and self to impromptu freestyle actions different while having no fear of new and unforeseen consequences.

Because there's no thinking involved, we can't simply prove to our brains ahead of time to do the preferred alternative from the inner voice...there's no preparation and don't get psyched out by it...as stated before, the root cause of why the inner voice deviate so much from our actions by our behavior is because we talk to ourselves ahead of time and prep so hard to get our mind to level 20 but incidentally leave our bodily actions back at level 1...don't simulate and play out actions in the mind because only when the body learns with the mind though action do these entities come back in sync....meditation and visualization can help but when it comes to impromptu, we have to simply act without inner restraint. it's not some mumbo jumbo "stay in the moment" shit...because we can stay in the moment and still fail. But rather, it's reconnecting to ourselves back in touch with intuition, instinct, and innate behavior (amygdala, 2nd brain in your stomach, etc) known prior to formal schooling.

fake it til we make it; don't rationalize but rather do the actions that our verbal cues want us to do and will ourselves to override our default gestures and behavior by not thinking and rather obtaining our next move spontaneously from nonverbal cues tailored to the instance in time and circumstance.

character does not build from verbal rhetoric but rather from actions. if there was a direct correlation between knowing and acting, professors who are very knowledgeable would leave their position at university because all of them would be too successful implementing their rhetoric in their field. the reality is, the professors who stay back in university are the people who can strongly verbalize what they cannot do by action...on the other hand, the people who can be successful by their actions sometimes cannot teach or verbalize them clearly, such as infomercial people who give you the run around.

athletes who were about that action and later became successful coaches are the best of both worlds to imitate because they can teach what they acted out, where sometimes the rhetoric taught is counter intuitive or doesn't have a reason. Don't over analyze. Act out those behavioral traits that we perceive ourselves to attain in order to form a habit even though our mindset gives us resistance...over time, character and attitude change based on feedback from those actions...things that we make up in our minds are ideal but for application purposes, simply act as if we already possess those traits by external movements and slowly, those internal neural passageways will be developed and those reasons justifying these actions will become known when we accumulate enough feedback from interfacing with our surroundings.

in other words, spontaneously express ourselves through action by forgetting what we have done in the past and be more in tune with the present by not having mundane actions dictate our intricate, complex selves, which also prevents living out a mundane life. don't be neurotic about it; having the biggest mind to cross analyze kills reproduction and feasibility because of paralysis by analysis and we have to be in tune with the adaptive intuition, instinct, and innate behavior to better align inner voice with actions, while picking up extra-sensory cues learned prior to formal education

be like water -- bruce lee. When to skillfully use training is not enough...we have to learn to improvise as needed and tailor our thoughts and actions as the best expression of self due to certain circumstances

learn by doing..sometimes, things are hard to explain on the verbal level because we can only talk in linear approaches...we do complex things that could be multi-dimensional and have several if-statement routines and loops...some things are learned through action and backward engineered, reduced, and simplified by the limitations of language. spacial recognition is one thing but acting out how you want to move in that space like a cornerback is something that i need to work on

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writing that snippet exercise was ridiculous ...it killed so many of my set preconditional self restraints have been holding me back all this time...time to get liberated

rewrite social norm, change perceptions of what the standard is...or just ignore it...no peer pressure. dont try to conform to peers. those who stand out are the outliers, not the cognitive bias of what you are looking for..tribalism, if you are over, it's good to go under, but if you're under, you want to go over, which is bad, for alcohol, electricity..dont approve of...your peers dont condone what you are doing, to fall within the social accepted norm, not social average, conjunctive norm


self narrative, tribal, group narrative.foster people of who they see themselves to be in society...good stuff

Out of Our Heads You Are Not Your Brain and Other Lessons from the Biology of Consciousness

the definition of where you begin and where you end is in your mind and it's an illusion of simultaneous stigma that you see yourself as your body or beyond...after a while it's diminishing marginal returns because all the books cite the same case studies and comes up with the same conjectures to make their validations....really boring tbh, a lot of stuff i already know. the part that i liked more was that keeping a young brain was adapting to your surroundings all the time and surrounding yourself with new experiences and insight like jobs and everything...that part was good.

even though we might be brain in vats, we still are cognitive about our surroundings of what we have, so that is reality to us and as real as it gets

Strangers to Ourselves: Discovering the Adaptive Unconscious

as we dive further along into prediction, I'm starting to see the meta-cognition of myself being more and more predictable based on significant parameters of the character traits that I hold reputation to (or by how others perceive me), even though we once saw ourselves as a cloud of complexity and serendipity....the cognitive dissonance between what we perceive our true self to be in comparison to what categories of actions we reluctantly fall into out of a force of habit and familiarity doesn't do our true selves justice because we deny the person who we want to be when we think one way but act in another out of trepidation of consequences based on new actions... i don't know....i fell into the rabbit hole when doing this project...I can explain further verbally

nothing goes unnoticed by the universe. the separation between the have's and the have not's is the inaction of cognition. action cures fear

life is not a problem to be solved it's a reality to be experienced....word? umm sometimes maybe? not all the time? not sure about that one

my mind is so connected to my voice that i stream my consciousness out before thinking...i react to the words that i say because I say exactly how i feel, where i surprise myself...this is what freestyle rappers do or jay-z who don't write...crack the door and let god in...that high feeling...you dont have to do drugs to get high....there's speaker high

...wow, this book...I had to stop the audio just to savor this quote...."We live entirely, especially if we are writers, by the imposition of a narrative line upon disparate images, by the "ideas" with which we have learned to freeze the shifting phantasmagoria which is our actual experience.” -- Joan Didion, white album....who was this lady? i didn't even know about her until this quote...and of course, she went to berkeley

i was confused about explicit and implicit dispositions...which one was better? they covered both and said it varied by culture

this is dense...luckily, i watched enough through the wormhole / you are not so smart / tedex to catch most of the subtle details...some stuff i haven't heard before...mind blowing

the book was like, self alignment make people happier in what they do...obviously bad for extreme cases

also, chapter 2-3 was like when placing any implicit or explicit dispositions on children has the backfire effect and reverse psychology because you as parents can't overcompensate for their internal thoughts, but expose them to as much stuff as possible so that they get to choose their strengths based on what they like

basically, expose them to a bunch of stuff, like a montessori but they choose what they excel at, which could be vastly different from parental expertise and influence

the book is covering the part about the subjects watching a film with a pill-and-placebo study that makes you laugh more. the conflict between inferring your emotions based on self-watched behavior and basing self values on past preferences of previous film taste....past preferences wins out regardless of how much you laughed and they rated the film consistently with self-correcting value regardless of laughter,......wow

i have this immensely...i self-correct all the time when comparing and aligning my past self with present circumstances...i need to stop doing that for me to grow as a person because new experiences should change my mind on how i react to things

i covered this before. those who won the lottery has a negative slope back to equilibrium where you eventually even go negative past equilibrium as days go by. those who suffer tragedy has a positive slope towards equilibrium where overcompensation like creating a fund or donation foundation catapults you to the positive past equilibrium. the facebook effect of seeing yourself represent your best sides has an effect where you learn your consciousness through myopic filtering and see a trendline that isn't your true self -- you only connect your best traits where there are more points eliminated than represented...giving you illusions of grandeur that you are actually about that life...the rick ross effect

we are psychologically fit to not develop mood swings for a long time to stay in the moment and avoid danger in the next instance

called the opponent process. gain tolerance to good and bad things. becomes the background of your identity instead of an incident outside of your circumstance.

change world view of what is the definition of self...where some actions like going to the bathroom midsleep needs to be consciously thought over and coerced to do so and other instances where eating out of reflex is 2nd nature and didn't even have a thought process

it sucks that we try to emulate good things to happen to us by attracting those that qualify but then we gain a tolerance to good things happening so we become immune to it...basing a standard of a good meal goes higher in comparison to every new experience that is better, making pleasurable simplistic meals obsolete to better ones, making the lifestyle expensive as things rise lavishly...we can learn to cope or compartmentalize these standards outside the norm that we experience so as to not compare 3 star to 5 star restaurants but instead to 3 star to the mcdonalds on a more recent timeline

hindsight bias, seeing future events as predictable of what happened but when you're in the moment, you're sure to have it exaggerated

psychological immune system to fight and justify bad emotions, spin doctoring what happened to keep ego and not deplete it...durability bias. rationalize.

adaptive unconscious, many truths, personal narrative, we weave what we can observe, capture what we cannot observe, archeologist/narrative/or history as it was...construction of self inferred, introspection of self

deduce what they are looking for, based on emotion not words, not fully aware of preferences. non-conscious states...self introspection of consciousness obscures self....time darkness, evaluating, goes into shock, values distorted..gut feelings...self contemplation is a curse that makes self understanding worse. more like a process of construction and inference

know thyself to be inaccurate of self, indoubtably incomplete and wrong..construct story not really feel. don't analyze reasons...can't do it...arbitrary story starts attitude change. dont analyze gut feelings. lose sight what you like the best. act on first impulses based on informed evaluation. not analyze gut feelings, and dont deliberate, use adaptive gut conscious. ..don't ruminate over shit...dont self defeat yourself with past ways

writing about shit has better ways to express by catharsis rather than inhibition to express -- wow, i'm sooooo on the right track...gave it meaningful adaptive meaning

subliminal ads doesnt influence people, regular ads do. self introspection cant deduce this. familiar, independence, rebellion, makes susceptible to this. polluted. ..yea automatic prejudice makes it bad as people dig up shit of their unconscious attributes vs conscious

there's a way to be shy so that it's only more detrimental if you leave people in socially awkward situations rather than just talking to them,.....WOW...you can get shy enough to be on the other side ...puncture adapted illusions...just having the opinions of others doesnt improve self...we have to tolerate failure and frustration...dont get clear feedback from others because you can improve yourself based on self adaption

dont do periodic checks because we are not blind to our talents...only do it when really delusional. inflated or too negative self view makes it necessary for people to get the feedback of others.  “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”  "It seems to me, that if you tried hard, you would in time find it possible to become what you yourself would approve; and that if from this day you began with resolution to correct your thoughts and actions, you would in a few years have laid up a new and stainless store of recollections, to which you might revert with pleasure."

“How do I know what I think until I see what I say?”  -- wow, putting the horse before the wagon for those people who say things just to react to what they have said..infer underlying traits based on behaviors. outside observer of heart and mind. introspection is absurd. if we were unaware, good. if we fabricate, bad. revise stories based on real feelings, grow and change for the better. change nonconsious states based on conscious egalitarian states

alter behavior first, do good, be good. made more effort to chat people. practice effect. change behavior change self perceptions, act as if you have it under control. fake it til you make it. do behavior first and let experience follow. change self definition based on social ties. change self conceptions. role models, change self image. care, competent people. self unconsciousness. change behavior and think less of yourself.

there is no true self. we live in the cross currents of conflicting narratives of particular relationships, time, and cultural circumstances, where some cases prove truer than others. adopt certain personas in certain circumstances. recognize unconscious goals, self biographer. self of mind, believability, adaptability .....fucking wow