imagine what life would be like had not instead of had gotten...if you are grateful of things that would be different that not have happened, it becomes special in reframing...if you are just grateful of what you have, it becomes less extraordinary and mundane
get the message about people who have been there, or optimism better in general
children, based on genes and peers...social economic group
key to self is autonomy and the ability to do things for yourself
dont do severe , just justify based on self autonomy instead of harsh consequences
compliance is for rewards, but internalization is different
rewards undermine task's enjoyability, because it becomes extrinsic, not intrinsic
plummet it below, less interested
watching cartoon programming had its pros and cons...pro that cartoons were written by class clowns and comedians and I got a really good sense of humor making jokes, con because a lot of the cliche writing was about learned helplessness over common situations like the inability to talk to girls or being nervous for public speaking or failing a class..it's just had I not seen or learned that part of their narrative, I would have not even have been overcome with fear of how these kids show plots usually turn out, like ed edd and eddy, hey arnold, etc...it's believable because you can't portray characters as too suave but having the audience relate to the character but then not having the characters develop into making a situation better makes those shows stagnant...probably because you can watch those shows in random order and it's still going to make sense on a rerun that characters dont change clothes or improve in character, but for the kids who followed their every moves, they were exposed to a phantom mindset that we should be afraid or nervous of situations and we are not given a solution to overcome those situations...and thus, the hedonistic treadmill continues
volunteer, lead by example, kids learn what we do than what we say
scared straight backfire on kids with narratives that dont even qualify for this
dont label kids, inadvertently change story prompt and reinforce bad behavior, oppress peers
check your peers
one in a million is an illusion. even though america has so many million people in the land, not all of them qualify for you to be around. being realistic: based on IQ, half the population has lower than 100, some of the remaining above 100 don't live above the poverty line. not discounting people as people, but on the line of thinking of who qualify to be your peers, the people younger or out of your age group are not your peers because most of the baby boomer people are in retirement homes or don't want to be bothered. then, of the people who are older, those are mentors if you can get one. the dwindling few people that are left are autoselected out as around 100 in a million or 10 in a million scale already, so for someone to be one in a million is easy because of the people who are left that qualify under your standards, every 10th person who you get in contact to is the person that you want to hang around, if that makes any sense, because a large majority of the population don't even qualify and the ones that do is just a numbers of scale game to get the right person to be in your circle of friends..matching thought processes and ideals and everything..not everyone qualify and probably every 10th or 20th person do, but once you meet one, it's just a numbers game to meet another based on exposure of self to more people and like-mindedness
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fucking eh, the biggest take away that i got from the 3rd book was: we are creatures of habit and after living for a while, we accumulate deeply entrenched behavioral traits of neural passageways, where our tendencies are the cause and result of paved highways in the brain made by redundant behaviors and undeveloped are the side streets of unexplored traits that we wish to accumulate. The first hand positive feedback evidence of what has kept us alive and intact for all these years are the survival/adaptability neural passageways that closely align with our tenancies. Evolution made us like this even though the physical dangers of living in this world have subsided, where it's very hard to change our actions after the accumulation of a redundant tendencies. we tend to not do anything opposite or outside of the norms of our behavioral palate even if we yearn to become someone better because of the 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' biological equilibrium...that is why people who do things physically can be hypocritical or even counter productive to what they say verbally -- what we can imply through their actions does not align to their inner voice. we are rooted to who we are by our actions so much that we resort to those same actions by default even when the circumstances change. any slight familiarity of the experience makes us reference and resort to those default actions and it's very difficult to change what we do even though we are totally cognizant that we are self-defeating ourselves as well as know about the existence of the side-street alternatives of what what we yearn to do. it's challenging to change ourselves because our behavior is rooted in the addiction based on habit...simply knowing what to do is not enough if we don't implement it by our actions....why spend calories and mental real estate/attention span to get from point A to B by using a new route to dictate a new behavior when the old route uses less energy and can result a "good enough" outcome? We may have to hold higher standards of what is tolerated as well, while using benchmarks to self-validate and not simply seek the approval of others.
We align ourselves based on our past behaviors and taste, sort of like a "forced" deja vu where we act the same way in slightly familiar or similar circumstances in order to use fewer brain cells to implement those actions such as driving a car and weeding out distractions. We relive the moment as if it happened before by redundant actions and we don't approach new circumstances creatively with new behaviors. Besides evolution, the the biggest reason is irrational fear of the unknown and the other reason is having things as routine to think less and use less willpower and energy...in order to grow as a person by actively thinking more, habitually put yourself into new circumstances where there is less familiarity in the scenario to output a new behavior more tailored to the moment instead of a canned behavior from the movies or from previous life recollections....it's very hard to do this because you go out your way to find these new situations where there is no familiarity. if we think too hard in these new scenarios, we choke or freeze as seen in players on a sports teams...the trick is to also go on gut feelings outside of the brain and take the nonverbal cues from the surroundings and self to impromptu freestyle actions different while having no fear of new and unforeseen consequences.
Because there's no thinking involved, we can't simply prove to our brains ahead of time to do the preferred alternative from the inner voice...there's no preparation and don't get psyched out by it...as stated before, the root cause of why the inner voice deviate so much from our actions by our behavior is because we talk to ourselves ahead of time and prep so hard to get our mind to level 20 but incidentally leave our bodily actions back at level 1...don't simulate and play out actions in the mind because only when the body learns with the mind though action do these entities come back in sync....meditation and visualization can help but when it comes to impromptu, we have to simply act without inner restraint. it's not some mumbo jumbo "stay in the moment" shit...because we can stay in the moment and still fail. But rather, it's reconnecting to ourselves back in touch with intuition, instinct, and innate behavior (amygdala, 2nd brain in your stomach, etc) known prior to formal schooling.
fake it til we make it; don't rationalize but rather do the actions that our verbal cues want us to do and will ourselves to override our default gestures and behavior by not thinking and rather obtaining our next move spontaneously from nonverbal cues tailored to the instance in time and circumstance.
character does not build from verbal rhetoric but rather from actions. if there was a direct correlation between knowing and acting, professors who are very knowledgeable would leave their position at university because all of them would be too successful implementing their rhetoric in their field. the reality is, the professors who stay back in university are the people who can strongly verbalize what they cannot do by action...on the other hand, the people who can be successful by their actions sometimes cannot teach or verbalize them clearly, such as infomercial people who give you the run around.
athletes who were about that action and later became successful coaches are the best of both worlds to imitate because they can teach what they acted out, where sometimes the rhetoric taught is counter intuitive or doesn't have a reason. Don't over analyze. Act out those behavioral traits that we perceive ourselves to attain in order to form a habit even though our mindset gives us resistance...over time, character and attitude change based on feedback from those actions...things that we make up in our minds are ideal but for application purposes, simply act as if we already possess those traits by external movements and slowly, those internal neural passageways will be developed and those reasons justifying these actions will become known when we accumulate enough feedback from interfacing with our surroundings.
in other words, spontaneously express ourselves through action by forgetting what we have done in the past and be more in tune with the present by not having mundane actions dictate our intricate, complex selves, which also prevents living out a mundane life. don't be neurotic about it; having the biggest mind to cross analyze kills reproduction and feasibility because of paralysis by analysis and we have to be in tune with the adaptive intuition, instinct, and innate behavior to better align inner voice with actions, while picking up extra-sensory cues learned prior to formal education
be like water -- bruce lee. When to skillfully use training is not enough...we have to learn to improvise as needed and tailor our thoughts and actions as the best expression of self due to certain circumstances
learn by doing..sometimes, things are hard to explain on the verbal level because we can only talk in linear approaches...we do complex things that could be multi-dimensional and have several if-statement routines and loops...some things are learned through action and backward engineered, reduced, and simplified by the limitations of language. spacial recognition is one thing but acting out how you want to move in that space like a cornerback is something that i need to work on
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writing that snippet exercise was ridiculous ...it killed so many of my set preconditional self restraints have been holding me back all this time...time to get liberated
rewrite social norm, change perceptions of what the standard is...or just ignore it...no peer pressure. dont try to conform to peers. those who stand out are the outliers, not the cognitive bias of what you are looking for..tribalism, if you are over, it's good to go under, but if you're under, you want to go over, which is bad, for alcohol, electricity..dont approve of...your peers dont condone what you are doing, to fall within the social accepted norm, not social average, conjunctive norm
self narrative, tribal, group narrative.foster people of who they see themselves to be in society...good stuff
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