self control works matters get more
lack of willpower goals
impulse than choices
stress procrastination
why self sabotage
how did you fail?
why lose self control: over estimate
fail to predict when they give in
avoid traps
common humanity of willpower
universal experiences
i will,i wont, i want challenges
self control better than intelligence
w/o desire, depressed
fair, protect
self aware
don't default to easiness
aware to control stimulation
distractions kill self control
brain malleable
obstacles to willpower by testing it to hard stuff to resist
meditate
don't move
move towards thoughts
smaller doses on exercise than to just not do it
noticing off goal, getting back to goal,. self actualization
notice when you're wandering and lost in goals
reward sense
pause and plan
well fueled brain to combat temptations
heart rate variability
heart rate variability
high resist, low tempt
slow breath control
exercise increased self control
strength and self control
antidepressant
white matter, faster connections
grey matter
willpower generator
gave back far what you spend
restores energy
willpower sleep
no i wont challenge
if cant resist, what are you saying yes to?
too much willpower bad
over control is toxic
relax, mental physical rest
poor self control and focus
stress enemy of self control
use self control depletes self control like a battery
corporate culture didn't share values
boosting blood sugar increase willpower
low energy makes them worse
stingy with energy
draining same source of strength
self imposed deadlines, piece wise
do anything small self controls
choose difficult and not easy
yea vs yes, non dominant hand, don't swear
practice building a habit
resist the temptation by visible
you are doing this
overprotective monitoring brain
beliefs, vs true self control
better role in real life increases self control
how you benefit if succeed
who else succeed by you actions, help them
easier over time, difficult now
stronger want that holds more weight
don't just immediate gains, need self discipline
food, workout
license to sin
proven rejection, but moral complacency. permission to do something bad because of moral attitude
attitude vs decision..not consistent. used up battery
don't question once established and lets loose. moral licensing
don't tell yourself good stuff, because you'll stack off
entitlement is downfall. self indulgence to virtue, give up to temptation
warm and fuzzy about virtue
don't just imagine the choice
credit to could have done, without doing
trust the feeling to be good
strain
don't feel like a saint
resist rules
help with goals, not right thing to do
true moral dilemma vs moral difficulty
give in to little ones to prevent big ones
good behavior, to bad
mortal worth vs moral licensing
progress
marking progress is self sabotage
self control success, silences higher self
goal liberation
one step forward, liberates terrible outcomes, 2 step back
mistake what actually is done vs what is to be done
stick to goals
commit to goal
how committed to goal vs what is progress on goal
not what you really want
remember the why, commitment not progress
healthy choices actually gives you the decision to feel good about decision but you choose what you really wanted
the opportunity to act on goal vs real pleasure goal
best self control, worst control when best was offered
persist differently in the near future than today
always next time, tomorrow...choose virtuous option
indulgent choice...
future good behavior tomorrow...
indulge today, change tomorrow
alternate reality?
ideal world
look into future don't want to do today
confident future behavior make up for it
anomaly vs reality
positive expectations...for inaction
stop pretending
commitment to all future
do i always want the consequences of putting it off today as again tomorrow?
do i always want the consequence of eating a cake everyday?
do not give permission of good or bad days.
vegetarian before dinner
cant tell yourself beef lunch and broccoli dinner
new rule is constraint, easy
what you do tomorrow is different from today: illusion
if you break rule, you have to break rule everyday
halo effect of angel for saturation, yes to temptation
virtue as justification to give in
health halo, feel good
virtuous choices as negating indulgences
pair cheeseburger with salad, salad crowd brain and induce more on eating
bargain hunters buy more than intended
gift buyers buy more for yourself
charity with chocolate makes chocolate guilt free
1% virtue to 99% vice. conflicted for goals
moral listening
fat free halo
snack well syndrome
organic, nutritional sense
buy 1 get 1 free natural organic
shopper seduced by savings buys more
steeper discount bigger high bargain
saved vs total spending
spend without guilt
under spending limit, getting good deal
going green, change the way we think about ourselves
steal, cheat, virtue of green justifies sin
reduce guilt, licensing bad behaviors
stop thinking about problem, feel free to waste more
bad behavior license when relieved
fine for late pickups had more late pickups
replaces harmful act illusion for good
strengthen idea to save environment rather than to buy off our sins
self control is punishment, indulgence is reward?
core values
too quick for moral credit
right and wrong vs what what really want sabotages effort
willpower, good becomes bad, remember goals and values
virtue and vice
good, permission to be bad?
follow thru from today to tomorrow
halo effect
pursue goal, or controlled? remember why you were good, not if you deserve a reward
shock to rat
pleasure when stimulated, shock
promise of reward, pleasure
possibility of another shock than guaranteed food
shock itself
brain stimulation
bliss
behavior
other than true satisfaction
never achieve self satisfaction
anxious,compulsion, not pleasure
promising them with pleasure, just press lever 1 more time, they can get pleasure
reward system
do this again, more stimulation, never drought satisfaction
stimuli
chasing promise of happiness
our want
dopamine rush, arousal, awake, possibility of feeling good, seeking wanting desire,
not actual reward
anticipation but not experiencing reward
promise of dinner Pavlov dog
win money
won money, quieted down
joy of winning
dopamine was for action,
anticipation, not pleasure
flood of dopamine, critical of survival
fixating or repeating
seducing
promise of happiness struggle to stay alive
keep on hunting and working
food is scarce, ok
dopamine response
instant gratification
chance of new message, keep hitting refresh, compulsive behavior
jolts of dopamine
technology
manipulate
big win anytime, compelling hard to quit
amphetamine use
firing dopamine
lever to exhaustion
off dopamine enhancing drug
brain
promise of reward
driven to chase pleasure cost of well being
risk taking out of control
promise of reward
obsession and compulsion
sugar salt fat, dopamine crazy
shopping dopamine, free samples
reward seeking state of mind, free and food
not utilitarian items like dishwasher
something to satisfy the seeking of reward
samples decrease hunger and thirst, but innate desire and behavior
novelty and reward
thrill is back
dopamine
treats difference as money earned
amazon, time pressure, scarcity
scent air, lure sugar cookies
dopamine neurons
lilac, normal scents for good
coconut beach ocean
reduce anxiety
dopamine detective
manipulating them
bargain prices
share you
empowered by observations
irresistible seems normal at home
dopamine rush
dopamine delivery in mail
buzzers
tempt you see for what they are and resist them
feel desires
stimulate desires
dopamine least interesting
dopamine, fantasize payoffs
boring items dopamine
beat deadline
on time, promise of reward
fishbowl
prize if done
unpredictable reward
big win than guaranteed reward
dopamine , i will challenge
music tv
chocolate
procrastinated projects
best possible outcomes of hard work
link dopamine firing
willpower challenge, promise of reward
Christmas music reward
promise of reward
started
promise of reward stressful
dopamine, pursue happiness
unhappy in the process
carrot and a stick
promise of reward
desire carrot
stress stick
anxious object of desire, life or death
desire and stress
startled arousal
chocolate
pleasure and anxiety
out of control
stress to not yet having it
stress of desire, promote of feeling good > actually feeling bad
relieve anxiety,
most happy on the way to the mall
feelings shifted, tense, crowded, time pressure
impatient and anxious, angry
relief of credit card
anxiety of
happy going to the mall
window shopping good
hope was carrot
anger and anxiety was stick
newfound suspicion
window shopping for max happiness,
goes home happier
reward smart decisions
how to reward yourself
reward for happiness
crave, work, suffer for desire
highest stock return, wanting for guarantee of happiness
promise of reward powerful
misery than satisfaction
pursuit of reward, never stops
refuse to eat it
i wont power challenge
get enough of it
disappointed, ashamed
no happier
false reward
reconcile reward with what it actual experiences
adjust expectations
slow down
binging
self control
less stress
false promise of reward
seeking happiness is source of misery
test promise of reward
mindfully indulge, anxiety
give permission to give in, expectations
does it go away?
when do satisfied?
out of time?
indulging less to get satisfied
reality of experience
less than satisfied
prize of reward expectations
importance of desire
outside of promise of reward
life without wants less self control,
lost anything
isolated
lost hope, depression
no desire
no reward
habits with no satisfaction
no anticipate pleasure, lose motivation
disconnects, drains hope
apathy
paradox of reward
happiness
temptation
no reward no motivation
interested engaged in life
wanting real reward and false reward, learn distinction
easier
temptation
brains big lie
desire is action
threat to self control or willpower
desire is a tool, when to follow
grantee happiness, pursuit of reward
wanting stress and anxiety
i will
linking it with dopamine with procrastination
mindfully
satisfy
reality match
relief to flee danger, wont will feel good,
ineffective
16% eat reduce stress
stress anxiety
feeling bad gives in
stress induced willpower failures
guilt and self criticism
stress makes us want
stress out lab subjects
dentist, crave cigar
stress, run for reward
real world stress lead to cravings
rescue mission
reward seeking state
promise of reward
reward is only feel better
intense cravings
under stress any craving is tempting
feeling bad about yourself
expected cake happy
reward + relief, illogical behavior
worried about finances will shop
buying will make you feel better
more food
procrastinators put it off longer to stop thinking about it
goal to feel better trumps the goal of self control
most effective
exercising and playing sports
music
family friends
hobby
massage
outside
medicating, yoga
least effective
gambling
shopping internet
tv movies
shopping drugs
no dopamine, instead boost serotonin, GABA
oxytocin
shut down response
healing response
underestimate how it feel
mis-predict happiness
talk out of happiness than promise of relief
numbed, with dopamine
seem like too much trouble
commit to yoga
talk out of it
encouragement
terror management
human terrified about own deaths
mortality relief
longer shopping list
bolster self image
buying things optimistic
warning on cigarettes triggers death and crave more, stress reduce
what is terrifying you?
temptation procrastination
fear
drank intended to
misery, guilty and ashamed
worse the person felt, the guilt drove back to drinking
what the hell effect
diet was blown
guilt shame loss of control
no way out but to keep going
more misery
break the guilt that sabotage self control
better about giving in
not to be too hard on yourself message
self forgiveness stop itself
special message
encouraged to forgive yourself
getting rid of guilt
feeling bad leads to giving in
control weaknesses
self control
external support
no severe failures
stricter with themselves
don't be harder on yourself
self criticism worse self control
depression drains self control
kindness and compassion more motivation and better self control
forgave themselves
accountability
self compassionate not self critical
feedback from others,
takes away shame and guilt
nothing to escape
easier to reflect
not repeat it
self criticism kills
human, everyone struggles
loses self control
what you say to a friend?
fear and self doubt erase
big goal. setbacks are human
compassionate
encourage student
reasonable goal
mentor, good friend
feel good
do not be overwhelmed by guilt, resolve to change
change setting regulation, relief and control
completely different person
goal
deciding
taller
burst of hope, goal
unrealistic optimism
decisions to change
good feelings
false hope syndrome
strategy for change not feeling better
feeling of hope
resulting to change
giving up and starting again
false hope syndrome not actual change
unrealistic sabotages
fix feelings
pessimism succeed
vow keep resolution
when am i most likely to give in?
scenario in mind
role playing visualize succeed
planing for failure
compassion, not doubt,
plan into action
feeling bad gives in
dropping guilt stronger
turn to anxious down
plan to not give in
future on sale
delay satisfaction for more satisfaction
self control
bigger brain = more irrational
rationalize bad decisions
cannot see future clearly
putting future on sale
fleeting satisfaction
delayed discount
delay will make it worth less
shrank
immediate satisfaction over delayed
temptation and procrastination
long term cost, fair trade?
catch reversal
blinded by reward
bounded rationality, unless we wait
reward seeking mode
did not respond to future reward
irrelevant, 60 miles or 60 days, more relevant, dopamine
reward system
cool off reward
temptation narrow possibility
not seeing immediate reward, mental calculations vs primal feelings
not seeing it makes it calculable
putting it away out of sight makes it out of mind
less activated
10 minute wait for temptation
competing long term reward
physical or visual distance to overcome procrastination
do 10 minutes and then you can quit
10 minute rule
intention to quit
discount rate
resistant gratification
do not stare at reward you are trying to suppress
long term goal
happiness today vs tomorrow
discount rate
so focused on present, future make is more important
lower discount rate
reward you start with is what you want to keep
delayed gratification
think about the future reward first
imagine that long term reward already yours
give up small present for bigger future
is this worth not becoming a doctor?
Photoshop head on what your future looks like
destroy your escape route
committing your future self completely
derailed by exhaustion
no choice but to go forward
self control, burn ship
reach our goals, limit options, committance
nuclear determinance
self sabotage
constrain that self as if another person
cunning courage creativity
tempted self last minute enemy
study self, see weaknesses
bind with rationale
dismantle laptop
future self on course
freedom internet app
procrastinate
captured discipline
lock up in safe
money where your goals are
commit your future self
do it before blinded by temptation
prepay to everything
easier to act on rational wish
difficult to reverse actions
motivate your future self
stikk.com
tax to the immediate reward
cost of failure more painful
rewards and pre commitments
goal process
atm money manager
rational preferences than impulse
lowers discount rate, emphasis on future
legal waiver
future you 2.0
better
idealize them
save present self form any pain and disregard future self like it was a stranger
more suffering for future self and complete strangers
present self is half of suffering
delayed payment
future self so nobility
no ideal future and same old self
waiting for someone else to show up and change so effortlessly
over commit yourself
stop waiting for you 2.0 to show up
afraid what yo find out
admit there is no other version of you
why the future feels different
inability to access future thought and feelings
not as real as present desires
immediacy of urgency
picturing someone else enjoying it
traits of another person
determine outside than inside
self reaction
gratification
future self money
give more later
expectations of future self bias
future self is a stranger
invest in a stranger's future
self interest
money away from a stranger
future self continuity when your future is no longer you
high future self continuity, better future
estranged from future self
get to know future self
retirement age selves
retirement age
age progression was me
from name, passion in life
hypothetical
twice as much money
low future self continuity
create a future memory
imagine the future
imagine yourself next week
vivid future feels wont regret
send a outre self
future me.org
future day on writer
long term goals
think like
future look back on life
contemplate what to write letter
imagine future self
increase willpower
hoped future self
feared future self
commit to change
consequence of not changing
pride gratitude regret
time to give in?
current happiness to reward
farsighted
pre commit to right time to spurge
re framing as investment
indulgence to gratify
consumers guilt
regret
next hurdle
go to waste, milestone go un celebrated
always more to do
see future
show up
10 minute temptation
lower discount rate
resist temptation
pre commit future self
meet future self
social influence of others by what other people think want and do
contagious
obesity epidemic
contagious 171% obesity, like influences like
drug, sleep, alcohol, depression, obesity,
like influences like
social influence
multiple self that compete for control
present vs future self
parents spouse
children
mirror neurons, for social behavior
correspond to movement
inner representation of how and why
pain from neural neurons
empathy instinct
other people's feelings
brain start anticipate reward
long for treat ourselves
unintentional mimicry
adopt each others positions in conversation
understand each other
intentionally other people's postures, mimic other peoples behavior
impulse
emotion
bad mood equates bad mood
spend more when shopping with friends
mirroring
go over board under social influence
goals are infectious
choose appropriate response
activates in goal in us
goal contagion
goals catch changes own behavior
increase and decrease goals by sharing them...watch your friends
2 competing goals
goal contagion
self control/indulgence
temptation is too strong
immediate gratification
forget other goals
strengthen immune system
enhance self control
firmly committed to goal
conflict with strongest goal
counteractive self control, few minutes thinking about won goals and temptations
immune to temptation
reinforce self goals
rule breakers are contagious
illegal shortcut
contagious goal, whatever they wanted
do not watch reality tv
don't see rule breakers
willpower weakness
catch self control
role models
exemplify
like people you like can bring you down, you let your guard down
relationship
networks of mutual respect
social closeness better than geographic closeness
not us
physical immune system does not attack people like us
they destroy others not like us
they keep people like us
their choices influence our choices
because other people are doing it is the strongest, neighbors try to conserve
altruistic, everyone else is doing it
poll numbers, what other people want must be good
trusting the tribe is wrong
independent minded person, no one will ever influence me
human desire to fit in
social instincts
doing harder thing is the norm
no rational idea. just do social idea
never be a member of
cherished tribe
stats, tribal brain, like everyone else
fatter we get, the thinner we feel, because of "national norm"
new social reality
"normalcy" shift upward
pull to the center is better than different
other people cheat
conform to normalcy
true norm correct behaviors
honest
share you aspire to
tribe to surround with
object of other people's evaluations exemplify self control
cost and benefits
pride and shame
not logical brain
fear, anger
social acceptance and rejection is the right thing
social shaming
wall of shame
people will know
strongest deterrent for social
temptation has no power over reward
go public with willpower challenge
keeping eye on behavior
do right thing
inspire others
imagine pride and scorn, tribe
tribe
do not be socially rejected, try to be within a group
excluded do not do
will power successes
encourage each other
social support to self control
in the next week consistent with goals
did you do what you are supposed to do?
stranger, kept her word
accountability and support
other people in our decisions
own action for ourselves
social proof
will power temptation contagious
mirroring
catch something from
close others
mirror behaviors
pride, public
group project
==
limits of i wont power
don't think about white bears
cant do it
letting go of control
trying to think about it
ironic rebound, push a though away, boomerangs back
deeper in desire when forbidden
mind
thought suppression does not work
not to think about something
the monitor automatically self control
operator and monitor
parallel
monitors hysteria
operator steel to goals
fatigue, operator cannot do its job like the monitor
imbalanced monitor, brings to mind what it is searching for
just outside of conscious
do what you are trying to avoid
no operator, then give in to monitor leads you straight to it
assume it might be true, surfacing
harder to pull away from
urgent message
true: ease to mind
ironic rebound
don't try to push away a though, back to consciousness
not to think about it, comes back stronger
suppression does not work
thinking a thought reduces likelihood of it coming back, because its done
outer reactions
not to think about sad thoughts
don't think self critical thought, just openly contemplate these thoughts
don't suppress
anxious, more like the pain
more anxious
make peace with thoughts, not push them away
understand and treat disorder
social anxiety, worst critics
worse at controlling thoughts
stress center overreacts
cannot point away from worry
accept thoughts and feelings
trust handle thoughts and feelings
less upset if accept it
less anxious overall
not worrying
stop fighting, more freedom from them
feel what you feel, don't believe everything you think
let yourself notice thought
could through mind and body
float by, dissolve
don't make thoughts go away
accept this thought, not believing it
doesn't mean anything
don't drown feeling, don't push away feelings
pull outside of it
breathing and cloud imagery thickness of guild and anger, blow through the clouds
less dense and less suffocating
feel grief, push it away
feel whatever
take away stress
gave permission to feel
ironic rebound sabotage
think any thought: 52
not thought: 9
eat twice as much for thought suppression
yo-yo dieting is not good, everything else is exploited, ineffective
not effective
outlaw food, increase desire
embrace them
act on them
boost willpower
bringing study to mind, increases self control
don't wage war
i will, pursue health
"I Will" challenge...turn to positive
i will, i should be doing to do instead
arrive 5 min early, positive tweak
race you can win
what you want to do instead of what you don't want to do
positive action rather than prohibition
stop and wait when doing it
mindfulness resist it
urges pass eventually
riding the wave
mood, urges to smoke
surf the urge, not feeling bad and giving in
stress does no give in
not unhealthy rewards for comfort
disconnect feeling bad and wanting to use
ride out craving without giving in
not acting on an urge
feel, pause, don't give in
inner acceptance outer control
temptation, self criticism and stress
pride, forgiveness, sleep
permission
self awareness
No comments:
Post a Comment